Despite of all the things that happened lately, nobody can stop me from believing in the 3 things I've always believed in --- goodness, love and happiness. They're the only things I can lean on right now. And I should. There's nothing I can depend on this time but myself.

I am glad it came to an end. There's so much drama. Emotional baggages. What if's and what's not. I'm tired of being an option Mr. T! Good thing our friend told me everything that needs to be said. Good thing I found out earlier. And no one can tell me to let go of whatever I'm holding on to. Because in the first place, I was not holding into something. I was being a FRIEND who just happened to like a FRIEND. It was like that even from the beginning. I don't wanna drag people. I don't wanna follow people. I don't want to do that. And I'll never do that. I want them to stay by my side and never leave me. 

I cried yes. But it was not because of the thought of you and me not being together. I cried because I brought up a name that until now, I wish that we were together. I cried because I've been wanting to cry the whole summer. I cried not because of you wanting to leave. I cried because of the name I brought up. I cried because he left. My tears were not for you. It was for that name. Good thing I didn't write about that rollercoaster hoopla here in my blog. Moments that weren't worth looking back. I'm just so thankful I didn't. 

Being drunk has its advantages. Being drunk keeps people sane. Being drunk the other made me cry the tears I've been wanting to cry the whole summer. Until now they are for you. I realized I still love him Mr. T! As one tweet of my friend on Twitter, it says:

"There is always, and I mean ALWAYS going to be someone you just won't be able to get over..."

I am trying to get up. I am trying every way I can to put myself together back. I might be knocked down several times but one thing is for sure, I 'll never stop believing in goodness, love and happiness... :)

Currently feeling: sleepy
Posted by jjcobwebb on June 15, 2010 at 10:36 AM in Everyday Drama, Randomness | 1 comment(s)

Aubrey (guest)

Comment posted on June 15th, 2010 at 07:17 PM
you know what, just be YOU. the ever optimistic and blissful you. just continue what you're doing. we may not know where it will lead you to, but one thing's for sure all these efforts of yours will not be put into waste. God loves you. He can't let you hurt this much for nothing. soon you will trip over 'happiness' and all you have to do is pick it up.

besides, we all love you jay. :)
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