jjcobwebb

Good morning Mr. T! Ang aga ko nagising, naabutan ko pa kapatid ko pumasok sa duty niya. Tapos may nabasa kong blog. Bigla kong may naalala...

A friend once told me this:

"You know why you keep going to places like that and joining gay sites and list yourself as single? Because at the back of your head, you're hoping, wishing, that maybe, probably, somehow, you'll meet and find somebody out there. You tell me you're looking for friends? Bull shit Jacob. A prospect. A future relationship. 'Jowa' in your own words. Yun talaga yun. It won't work out Jacob believe me. It will never work out. Hindi mo mahahanap yung hinahanap mo dun. Tumigil ka na. You're more than what you think of yourself. Swerte ng magiging 'jowa' mo. Sana maniwala ka sa mga sinasabi ko..."

Ewan ko Mr. T! I've been thinking about those lines since last month. Coming from somebody who's not out in the scene, I should learn from him. Not a single picture of himself posted on the net. Siguro noh? And I feel stupid posting pictures of myself that don't even resemble how I really look like in person. Kaya nga pinatay ko na si Ohio. May he rest in peace. Pero siguro nga tama siya...

And the events that happened after Ryan's birthday celebration last last week (after Ryan's friend Leo drove me home) are still hunting me. Some nice. Some freaky. Some gross. Some enchanting. Some shocking. Some weird. Masasabi ko na hindi ko pa talaga kilala sarili ko ng lubusan...

And so I reflect...