G'morning Mr. T! Sobrang napapagod na ko. Sorry for not updating you these past few days. I'm really in a mirage right now. My whole mind and body are floating. Add to that some frequent spike of depression of something I don't know. But I'm good. I'm just not myself these past few days. So much work to do, so little time. I wish the days had 48 hours and not just the usual 24 hours. I'm having a hard time sleeping too Mr. T!. Neozep Forte doesn't work. I'll try sleeping pills by tomorrow. So much things to do. So tiring. Just the other day I was thinking of killing myself just to end all these. I know, I know I have suicidal tendencies but I know when to stop. Cramming doesn't do me good. I just crammed a 15 page research paper yesterday for DATABAS. Then Ms. Tangkeko wasn't present for BIZPROC. Had to cut half of DATABAS just to visit SAN AGUSTIN CHURCH awhile ago --- I was only the person inside the church when I got there. Good thing I saw the CHURCH keeper. I'm just gonna do my reflection paper about it during my longest break ever. It was scary though. Anyways, update you of what happened the days before... it's 1:40am though. I'm off to bed... just wish me luck... hay... Anyways again., I'm currently feeling this song by Mariah. It wasn't released though. It's from the album GLITTER:

TWISTER 

She was kind of fragile
And she had a lot to grapple with
But basically she kept
It all inside

Childlike and effervescent
With a well of pain
The depth of I could not imagine
If I tried

Never thought that I
Would hear them say
Twister went and threw it all away

She was kind of magical
Her laughter sent you casually
Floating through a moment
Of release

Dear God, it's all so tragic
And I'll never have the chance
To feel the closure
That I untimately need
No, I never dreamed
That there would come a time
Twister'd go and leave it all behind

Lord I pray she's found some peace
And her soul's somewhere at ease

Yeah I'm feeling kind of fragile
And I've got a lot to handle
But I guess this is my way
Of saying goodbye

     That's all for now Mr. T! If ever I kill myself right now. Blame it on the song. I love ya! I enjoy ya! I appreciate ya Mr. T! Bye for now! Mwah!

     We went to FOOTZONE yesterday, with ATE and ERWIN. Nilibre nila ko. Ang sarap magpamasahe dun. It's in ANNAPOLIS, now CLUB FILIPINO DRV. Hmmm... I passed ARTAPRE MIDTERMS salamat naman. And... got lot of things to do pa. Update you as soon as possible... mwah!

     Hello Mr. T! Finally I'm through for the first day of the week! We're almost done with BIZPROC Chapters 1,2,3 and 4. I haven't studied for ORGMGNT's exam tomorrow and ARTAPRE's quiz, well yeah I read the book but nothing registered in my memory. AK asked to sing with her tomorrow for some friend of hers. We'll be rehearsing around 6pm then the main shooting will be on Wednesday daw, it's a TV thinggy daw so probably it's a time to shine. DATABAS exam is tomorrow na pala since it's Monday na today. NETCOMM exam is on FRIDAY... Lord I need you! Awhile ago sobrang hassle, I was left alone sa PLANET DRUGSTORE N. DOMINGO with no companion at all. There was an influx of customers, it made me tired actually even though my only task was to look for hide-and-seek medicines. Good thing ERWIN and ATE came to my rescue, they replaced me na and I did BIZPROC na.

     Adnan told me something today Mr. T! he saw --- you know who. It got me so depressed. Until now, I scanned through my old YM message archives. Time flies so fast pero alam mo yun, I still feel the same I felt way way before you know. Pero of course hindi na masyado ganun kagrabe. As the song by KELLY CLARKSON goes: "No I don't cry on the outside anymore...". Reading the archives made me smile. Maganda pala talaga intention niya... 'sana'... pero baket ganun I'm still carrying the burden...ugh...wahhahah. Anyways, I'm feeling blank again today Mr. T! It's 3:43am and I should be in school by 12:50pm. Good thing we won't have NETCOMM tomorrow. More time for sleeping.... or studying??? Actually I'm confused, I'm torn between sleeping and studying hay... 

      On the lighter side of life 2 people commented on my makinis daw na face... ADNAN and TITA MERCEDES...ang kinis ko raw lately, thanks to POND'S. eheheh... BIOLINK FACIAL WASH doesn't work for me. Swerte naman ni Page may iPOD Video na may SHUFFLE pa! Nakakaasar si MAMA, feel ko talaga she lost my iPOD for good. I have to buy a new one just give me time Mr. T! Kachat ko ngayon si Jeffrey. Wala lang, he's also doing his school business. Anyways, sumaya ko dahil naupdate kita. Baket ganun Mr. T! I hate myself... I should have gotten over this coz it's long overdue pero baket ganun ako... wahh... I should start reinventing myself <--- labo! Sige yan na muna! Wala na ko sa sarili ko na naman... labo ko... hmmm... now I'm smiling baket kaya...ahahah... sige sige update you soon Mr. T! I'll be back with my sanity... ahahaha? Lols I love you Mr. T! Ikaw lang kakampi ko sa buhay na magulo. Ikaw lang nakakaintindi sa kin. You're the best! Shet mukha na kong loner nito... Mwah! Corny ng sounds ko IF YOU'RE NOT THE ONE... inis! Mwah ulit!!!

P.S I don't know if I'm myself today. I might be making up stories. Ahahaha... beep beep... <--- ano naman yan? labo ko! :) :) :)

      Hay walang pasok yesterday and today. Eto walang magawa, may rumors na wala ring pasok tomorrow. Hmmm.... ayun, nung Monday, ginawa kaming talent nung friend ni AK na si DAI sa project nila. Parang shooting whatever. Masaya naman kahit ang tagal... tsk CLA people. Ayun, ano pa ba, dapat may CLAY MODELLING kami sa ARTAPRE kaso nga bumagyo. 33/50 lang ako DEP. EX sa BIZPROC... ah... kainis bagsak pa. Tapos DATABAS hirap ng exam! Bukas may test sa NETCOMM naku! Ewan ang laki ng coverage ng exam sana walang pasok tomorrow. Sige til here muna Mr. T! Ang likot nina KATHLEEN and KOBE dito sa kama ko naglalandian... mga pasaway na bata!

Just Don't by John Jacob Webb

In a movie house
You tried to touch me
I shove your hands
Away from me
You whispered something
I didn't hear
I was all ears and all eyes
To the silver screen
You held my had
I hesitated
You said alright
That it's just a game

Chorus:
Don't kiss me
Don't put your hands on me
Don't try to tease me
Please me baby
Just release me
Don't don't don't
Whatever you do
Don't don't don't
Just don't

Then we hailed a cab
By the sidewalk
You looked at me baby
Then said to me
That you like me
Then you went up on my lips
You tried to kiss
I kissed you too
But I was cold
Don't it don't it
Don't do it boy

Bridge:
Now if you think I like you
Because I kissed you
Sorry baby
That was just to piss you

     For the 2nd time pumasa ko sa quiz sa ARTAPRE, buti bumait si Miss...hay, grabe, si MAMA nawalan ng phone nakakabadtrip sayang ang 7610. Tapos ako sobrang bagsak pa kanina sa NETCOMM DEP. EX! Kamusta naman ako! Ibang klase si Ma'am magpatest! Test kung test talaga. Mas pinaghandaan ko yung PROBLEM SOLVING part eh ilang items lang pala! Mas maraming IDENTIFICATION! Kamusta naman talaga ako! Gusto ko ng mabaliw dinadaan ko na lang sa tawa! Ayoko na bumagsak. Sobrang maraming kamalian ang nangyayari lately. There's still JULY, AUGUST and SEPTEMBER to pull things together Mr. T and get it all back... babawi ako Mr. T! I'm telling you babawi ako! I really mean it this time... I really mean it... God please help me... tama na ang katamaran... tama na... maaga na ko matutulog para may lakas ako at yung utak ko gumana na ng tama... this is for me. Sobrang galit na ko sa sarili ko. I need to change. NOW!

     Below are the things that happened yesterday. I'm so lazy to type a story. Here they are:

• Nakahawak ako ng TAE sa CUBAO MRT Station
• Watched PIRATE OF THE CARIBBEAN at G4 (parang ang haba ng movie pero 2 hours lang siya or so)
• Tapos natulog ng napakatagal
• Tapos nagbantay ng Drugstore
• Tapos nagikot ikot na naman ng Maynila si ERWIN ang lakas ng trip
• Tapos kumain sa BINONDO mga 1am and umuwi ng mga 3am na
• Hinatid si KAYE sa bahay nila

     Yun mga naganap kahapon. Onti lang pero parang ang tagal tagal ng mga oras na yan. Yun muna. Pagod na ko Mr. T!

     Hello Mr. T! Bagsak ako sa NETCOMM DepEx hay... as anticipated pero I was expecting a lower grade than my real grade. Anyways 39/100 lang naman san ka --- akala ko 20 lang nga ako eh. Anyways, I learned my lesson. Mali pa nagawa namin for the CASE STUDY sa NETCOMM, nagawa naming PROPOSAL agad. Walang ARTAPRE kanina para makapunta raw kami sa MUSEUM. Sobrang sakit pa ng tiyan ko ngayon and kanina... hay... Anyways yun.

     Alam mo Mr. T! Lately narerealize ko I'm being ANTI-SOCIAL. Mas gusto kong binibigyan ang sarili ko ng time. Am I becoming selfish? Hindi na ko makipagkaibigan sa mga tao the way I used to. I'm not fond of ORGS. Ayoko ko makipagkwentuhan, ayoko makisocialize. Something's wrong with me. Smile, Hello na lang ako ngayon sa mga tao. Ewan ko nawalan ako ng gana talaga makipagsocialize sa kanila. Nagiging swapang ata ko ishare sarili ko sa iba. Pati sa mga group work parang wala na ko masyadong ginagagawa. Hay... ano ba nangyayari. Something is wrong with me. Hindi yata ako EMOTIONAL STABLE mga panahon na to. Hay... weird. Nawawalan na rin ako ng ganang mag-aral. Walang force na tumululak sa kin pataas. I feel so stagnant. Hindi mo ba narerealize parang mga NEGATIVE POST ang nandito sa yo ngayon? Just when I thought nahanap ko na sarili ko di pa pala. I need to change abruptly. Pero naguguluhan talaga ko kung san ako magsisimula. Yung inferiority complex ko to the highest level na naman. What must be the problem with me? Do I need to consult a psychologist na? Lagi ako walang gana, inaantok, bored, ni bumirit nga wala ako sa mood or kahit kanta lang. May mali talaga pero winawalang bahala ko lang. Di kaya mabaliw ako nito? :( :( :(

     Wala lang, nice title lang. This term has got to be the busiest term in my stay in DLSU. It really is. Sigh... ayun, sobrang wala na kong tulog. I'm back with my vocalizations, my happiness, my own self. I feel I'm back to my own self. Siguro kasi Saturday na ngayon... update you soon Mr. T! :)

     Wow! Grabe sobrang galing at ang saya ng PCD concert Mr. T! Pero bago lahat I'm alive. Eheheh... ayun, I had to cut our make-up class sa BIZPROC just to make it on time sa PCD Concert. Naulanan pa ko, ang haba pa ng pila sa MRT. Ayun, kasama sa concert si PAGE, BAMBI, ATE DARLENE, si ERWIN and EMO. Nakita ko rin si DANIEL sa may harapan namin. Anyways, for 898php UPPER BOX B mahal na siya. Kakainis malayo pero masaya naman. Front act si SWAY (one of the top 24 sa AI nung last season), then ALFRED ba yun(FILAM din). Tapos ayun inaliw muna nila kami for one hour. So bali mga 9pm+ na nagstart yung MAIN EVENT. Tapos yun... PCD time...first they had a medley of BUTTONS and then BEEP. Parang lipsync nga eh pero hindi naman dahil bumibirit sila. And then sang few songs which I didn't know. And then STICKWITU... god... naiyak si NICOLE. Sobrang natouch siya sa pagtanggap ng mga Pinoy sa kanila. And then, SWAY kinanta nila, tapos DON'T CHA yung last. During the concert nagkaroon din ng parang mini dance showdown, mga audience ang kasali. Nakakaaliw yung bading na napili grabe hataw kung hataw pati may bata rin na lalake nakakaaliw sumayaw. Sila nanalo kesa sa mga babae. Mas feel sila ng mga tao. Ayun, then kala ng mga tao pagtapos ng DON'T CHA may "MORE MORE WE WANT MORE" pa... kaso wala na. 1 hour lang yung concert bitin. Puros ingelesero't inglesera mga katabi namin nung umalis kami grabe nagdugo ilong ko...ahahha... anyways yun. Masaya siya kaso bitin. Galing bumirit ng mga PCD. Hindi ko inexpect yun kala ko they're just dancers and all they could do is dance pero nakakabirit din sila. 4 out of 5 stars yung concert, kulang ng 1 kasi nabitin ako. Anyways yun then kumain kami sa may MADISON after the concert. Hay... saya... update you soon Mr. T! Marami pa ko gagawin. :) P.S. Pasensyahan mo na yung pics malabo talaga... lols...

     Hello Mr. T! Nakow! Mamaya na ang pilot episode ng PHILIPPINE IDOL... I'm excited and nervous at the same time kasi baka ipakita ko sa TV. Ehehehe... pero okay lang kahit ipakita ko sa TV hindi naman ako nagkalat. Hmmm... marami nga sa kin nagsabi na nakita  nila ko last week sa preview sa may ALI SOTTO SHOW, I'm fu**ing excited...eheheh... sige I'll tell you later kung nakita ko sa TV! :)