Drum roll please…. I am back! Ta dah! Hahahaha! Buhay ako!!! Kumusta naman Mr. T! Balik na ko sa totoong mundo. Sobrang tagal na ng last update ko ang I miss blogging. Nakakatuwa naman at hanggang ngayong tayo pa rin. Kung magjowa tayo, halos 7 years na tayong on and off! Hahaha! Ayun, 2011 has been a BARBIE YEAR. Yung wishlist ko nabili ko lahat grabe. Ang bilis. Haha! Sobrang yun lang ang naganap. Grabe, buti hindi ako sa shabu naadik o kung san pa. Wala, puros Barbie nasa utak ko nung nakaraang taon. Ayaw ko naman kasi ng super blog about Barbie dito. Hindi naman toh doll blog. Pero pwede rin naman Mr. T! if you’ll let me. Hehehe! Sobrang dami ng nangyari. Hindi ko na halos nakwento.

Kita mo ba mga pictures ng Barbies ko last year? Kalahati pa lang yan! Grabe, pangmayaman na bisyo pala ito. Nagpromise ako na this year, hindi na muna ko masyadong bibili. Kasi malapit na ko maging hampas lupa dahil kay Barbie. Haha! So eto ang start ng bagong pagboblog ko Mr. T! No drama. No time to cry. It’s a PINK WORLD after all. Marami akong kwento sa mga susunod na entries. Bubwelo lang ako kasi marami rin akong ginagawa lately. Weird lang dahil summer na pero umuulan naman. Ayun, ayan na nga muna Mr. T! Wait mo lang mamaya magkukwento na ko mamayang gabi. Eto yung mga time puros sarili ko kausap ko. So…. feeling ko lang ha, magaling ako magsulat pag ganun ang mga eksena! Hahaha! I love ya, I enjoy ya and I still appreciate ya Mr. T! I am back once again. Hello 2012. :)

Bago ako matulog, maguupdate muna ko. Just like the old dayzzzz… I miss this Mr. T! Yung tipong laptop lang ang bukas na ilaw sa kwarto. Ang difference lang may mga Barbies sa tabi ko! Hahahaha! Anways, ayun nga, baket gising pa ba ko? Hahaha! Kasi may bisita kanina dito sa bahay. Kung sino man yun, pinakanta na naman ako ng mga tao dito para ientertain ang bisita. Hahaha! So yun nga, nagkausap kami ni Tom kanina sa phone!!! Grabe! Ilang milyon na taon ko ng hindi nakausap si Tom! Parang last namin na kita ay yung sinama ko siya sa date ko dahil nakadate niya yung dinedate ko. Lakas din ng trip ko noh? Nung nalaman ko talagang  nakadate ni Tom yun, sinama ko si Tom sa date namin. Ayun, nagalit sa king yung date ko. Hahahaha! Lakas ko mambasag ng trip. Kami ni Tom umuwi ng sabay. Hahaha! Na imbyerna yung date ko. Hahaha! Super funny. Anyways, ayun… may surprise si Tom! OMG, parang after ilang  years, may BF na siya! Hahaha! Parang buntis lang noh? Natuwa naman ako. Lagi niya raw ako kinukwento sa BF niya and gusto niya makilala ko jowa niya. Weee… nakakatuwa. So ayun lang hahaha! Ayoko na magback track ng mga stories ko Mr. T! Basta ang alam ko, may gana ulit akong magsulat. Hahaha! Kung ano man ang dahilan hindi ko alam. Basta sulat lang ng sulat. Di ba nga Mr. T! sabi ko sayo di kita iiwan? Minsan talaga may topak lang ako! Hahaha! Anyways, yan na muna. Ay, siya nga rin pala, super tagal din namin nag-usap ni Migs sa phone last weekend! Grabe! Touched ako sa lahat ng sinabi niya. Naluha ako ng very light. Haha! Parang nakapabait kong tao sa mga sinabi niya sa kin. Parang ayaw ko maniwala. LOL! Anyways, si Migs masaya na sa GF niya, ang gusto niya rin mameet ko ang GF niya dahil nasabi niya pala lahat dun! Haggard! Baket ganun, meet meet na lang ako ng mga jowa ng friends ko!? Kelan kaya yung oras na may ipapakilala naman akong jowa? Hahaha! O siya, yan muna update ko. Ang sarap mag blog ulit. Parang ibang tao na ko Mr. T! baket ganun? Hahaha! Or feeling ko lang tumanda na ko? Hahaha! Nakakatuwa. Update you soon! :)

We’ve been going out for 5 months now and up until now, I don’t know where you stand. Worse, where I stand. It’s funny because I like you. Yep, I like you but something’s holding me back. I think I’m beginning to love you… beginning to but not yet. I love going out with you but sometimes I can’t stand you when we’re together. I like talking with you and I miss you badly when we don’t see each other. What the hell is wrong with me? Do I really like you or do I just love the idea of someone being there for me? I am really confused. 

I remember how you used to irritate me when we first became friends. I didn’t like talking with you. I didn’t care for your text messages. I get annoyed when you can’t decide where and what to do when we’re together. But you know what, it’s amazing when all of a sudden I was the one doing those things for you. It’s a sudden twist in the story. How you put so much effort just to get my attention. Well, yeah, congratulations! You sure did. Now, it seems that I’m the one running after you. Did you plan this to happen? Because if you did, you did it very well.

I don’t know where these things will lead. You promised me that you will never ever leave me and I told you that I will hold on to that. But you know what, I suddenly remembered somebody promised me things too. I’ll hold on to what you said but please don’t blame me if at the back of my mind the phrase “promises are meant to be broken” is blinking. One reason I’m holding back is that I’ve been through all this before. I like you but I don’t know where I stand and where you stand. Let’s just be happy with what we have. In time we’ll get the answers. I’m still a little protective about the people that I invite in my life. I understand your reasons. But please understand me too…

Distillery last Friday with Barry, Rhitz, Van, Mark and Benson and then Barcino last Saturday with them as well.  Then we went to O-Bar for the sake of. Barry and Rhitz had fun but not me. I wanted to go home after a few minutes of being inside. It’s just not the same. I wasn’t enjoying the scene. It was dragging, repetitive and noisy. Maybe, I was just really tired last Saturday because of the Barbie party I threw for my fellow doll collectors. It started at 4PM then ended 12AM. Then I had to go pick up Barry and Van to Barcino then drive them back home when we were already drunk. Thank God nothing bad happened as I was about to fall asleep while driving.  The weekend was long and I was on bed the whole Sunday.

Maybe it’s been a million years ago but still, sometimes, I feel I could have been better. It could have been better. I was immature then. Had all this ideas about love and fairytales and happy endings. Up until now, I still wish they do come true. But sadly, a lot of side stories happened before I even reached that famous happy ending. It was my choice to be on those side stories because from where I was standing then, I couldn’t see what lied ahead. Where the road was leading to. It was fuzzy. Maybe, they were all in my mind. I kept thinking of what might not happen. I easily gave up when I should have held onto what could have been the best. Right now, I feel weak. I am still impatient of things that might come. There are still some things that I am not quiet sure of. My feelings might be cheating on me with things that I have right now. But you know what, I was sure that I wanted you then. I still love you and until now, it’s killing me. I could have been better. I could have treated you right. I could have been fair to you. But I was selfish. Now, when I realize everything that have happened, there’s nobody to blame but myself. Yes, I could have been better. I could have waited. I could have hold onto you. Maybe I already wanted the happy ending but like what they say, happy endings happen at the end of the story. Ours already ended but there’s always the phrase… TO BE CONTINUED…

I don’t even know what that means! Hahaha! But just to cut the chase, I made you choose between me and other guys. You can still talk with them and chat with them online or on the phone, but you can no longer meetup, or sex meetup, hang out etc. Was I being fair? I think so. It’s been 5 months now and I’ve realized all along I’m just an option. Maybe I got tired. Maybe I just want to know where I stand. As much as I don’t want to admit it, I am becoming attached to you. This rarely happens.

Yesterday, I made you choose. You bargained. One month. I said no. But we ended up with a mutual agreement. I should have easily said no to your one month pact but the song I always play on my car played on the restaurant’s radio. To think that I didn’t bring my car yesterday. Maybe it’s a sign that’s why I agreed to that one month. I am still quiet not sure of what happened. Of what might happened. I told you if you don’t want this arrangement then just tell me immediately then let’s go our separate ways.

In time we’ll know what’s gonna happen. In time…

Lately eto ang pinapakinggan ko. Nababaliw na ata ako. Hahaha! Bwisit! Very timely and appropriate. 

Iisa pa lamang ang minahal ko ng ganito... :(